SGA3:1,5 Space Pineapples
by MagpieSong
Summary: They're hunting for space pineapples, but they find something far less pleasant.


Major Lorne trudged through the grass and weeds of the small clearing until he reached the merry stream bubbling its way through the area. "Doc, are you really sure this, uhh wrinkle plant is around here?"

"Rinkhas", corrected Willow, slightly exasperated. "And yes, I matched the description to an entry in the database back home. It's native to this planet."

"And you say it looks like a pineapple, right? Just grows underground?" asked Hyatts, sharing an amused expression with his commanding officer.

"Yes, yes", she muttered, flapping a hand at him and looking around at the foliage. "It's a root vegetable. Tastes a bit like lemons apparently. Strangely."

"Remind me why we're looking for it again?" Glossop tacked onto the end of the queue as they headed back into the forest.

She sighed and cursed under her breath. "Its said to have powerful antiseptic properties. Doctor Beckett wants samples to analyse and if we can cultivate it on the mainland it could give us a leg up in the offworld trading situation."

They broke into another small clearing, Lorne checking the angles with his P90 quickly. He waved Willow forward and she surged around him to pour over a particularly ugly, spiny plant that looked a bit like an aloe with razor sharp needles all over it.

"You're kidding", said Knox. "That… _thing_ is what we've been looking for for the past three hours?"

"Hmm", she said, pulling out her knife. She carefully sliced into the indigo leaf-like protrusions, cracking a triumphant smirk when dark blue sap spread onto the blade. "Yeah, looks like it."

"Okay, Hyatts, you're on perimeter", said Lorne. "Knox, Glossop – digging duty."

"And what about you, sir?" Glossop scowled as he fished in his pack for the collapsible shovel.

"Think I'm gunna watch", he smirked, sitting down on a fungus-covered log.  
Willow stood back, out of the way and began instructing the two marines on how to dig, much to their chagrin. Meanwhile, Hyatts had found something a little too interesting.

"Hey, doc, what's this funky looking flower?"

Willow turned about to face him, her face a mask of horror as she focussed on the grotesque looking plant. Launching straight for him, she bellowed at the top of her lungs. "DON'T TOUCH IT!"

She crashed into the man just as his fingertips grazed the fleshy petals of the football sized bud. Immediately, they curled backwards and a burst of crimson pollen enveloped the botanist. Hyatts crashed to the rocky ground, thrown clear of the offending cloud.

Willow coughed twice, then her legs seemed to turn to jelly and she folded down into a heap.

Immediately the team rushed forwards, breaking out their canteens to wash off the pollen. Knox checked her pulse and she coughed again, opening her eyes as red splashed onto her lips.

"Oh, fuck", Lorne's face was horrified as he perched above her, watching Knox take her vitals.

"Its…not blood", she wheezed as he stared at her hugely dilated pupils. "God…awful taste…"

Hyatts choked a little, looking at her in dismay as the colour began to drain from her face. "I'm sorry doc, I just—"

"Not helping, man", interrupted Glossop. "Excuses later, lets get her up."

He slung her arm over his shoulder and lifted her dead weight. Hyatts hurried forwards to take her other arm across his back and they slowly began to drag her back through the forest. Knox hurried ahead of them, keeping his eye on Willow as the dark red liquid oozed from her lips and onto her uniform.

Lorne had paused to look at the 'rocks' that surrounded the horrid plant. Rather, they were bones, skeletons of animals and humans that had no doubt fallen prey to its trap. He scowled and turned to catch up with his team on their way back to the gate.

They reached the trail and had arrived at the stargate in no time. Lorne punched in his IDC and radioed ahead. "Atlantis, this is Major Lorne inbound, requesting a medical team upon arrival, one casualty."

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

It was 5pm the following day when Doctor Beckett finally allowed Willow any visitors. Hyatts had already bribed one of the nurses to take a bunch of mainland flowers to her bedside after she'd been moved out of quarantine.

Her fever was still fairly high and she had a bad headache, but at least she wasn't coughing up liquefied pollen any more.

Just as she was about to start on her dinner, into the infirmary filed Ash, Louanna by her side and their team's newest member, Heidi Richmond, trailing behind them. She was a short and fairly muscular woman with flaming ginger hair and more than a few freckles.

Willow sat up a little straighter, shifting in the uncomfortable hospital bed. "Hey guys", she croaked, taking a sip of her juice.

"Damn, man. You look like shit", said Lou, collapsing into a chair and grabbing her fruit cup.

"How are you feeling?" asked Ash, frowning slightly.

"Mmmh, yeah I'm doing okay", she rasped. "Doctor Beckett says my temperature is starting to go down. Strength's returning, fingers and toes are still numb, though."

"I heard it was some dodgy plant that did this to you", Heidi raised an eyebrow at her.

She chuckled and it turned into a cough. "Yeah, the Legusian Mist plant. It paralyses its victims with pollen and the flesh eating insects that live inside its flowers do the rest. Good thing the return quarantine process is so thorough."

"I hope Evan gives that little shitstain Hyatts a lesson or two on looking and not touching", muttered Ash.

"Give him a break, he's new", responded Willow. "And from the size of this bouquet, he feels pretty damn guilty over it all."

"Hmph", she folded her arms and looked away.

"So does that doc know when you'll be getting out of here?" asked Heidi.

"We don't really know, yet", she replied, shifting again. "Maybe a couple more days? We've been using a remedy Teyla suggested and its doing good so far, but I think Beckett wants to keep me under observation for a while just to be on the safe side…"

"Well, you were kind of like jell-o when they brought you back from the mission", laughed Lou, taking a swig of the juice. "Eugh, cranberry? You disgust me."

Willow winked at her. "I had a feeling you'd try that."

"Alright, alright", said Carson as he bustled over to interrupt. "That's enough for tonight. I want Doctor Luxford resting easy until her fever's down to a more comfortable level. You can all come see her again tomorrow at 10, okay?"

Lou and Ash grumbled and Heidi snickered, amused by his briskness. Willow smiled as they began to depart and waved her still tingly hand after them.

"Thanks", she murmured to him as he handed her some pain medication. "My head is still pounding, honestly."

"You're welcome", he responded. "Don't be afraid to ask, we all just want you back on your feet."

"Any idea when that will be?"

"Afraid not", he said. "Its not every day I deal with this type of thing, though I suppose I should expect it by now."

She smiled. "Care to join me for dinner?"

"Ehm, well I am a little busy-"

"Nonsense, you've been working all day", she interrupted. "At least have a cup of tea and a biscuit with me."

He sighed. "Alright, I suppose I could spare five minutes. I'll be back in a minute, love."

He patted her knee and hurried off to his office to brew a pot of tea.

Willow sighed and picked up the empty fruit cup ruefully before setting it down on the nightstand. "Bloody Lou, ruining my dinner", she muttered to herself.

After a few minutes, Carson returned with two mugs of steaming hot tea and half a packet of biscuits. He set it all down on her tray with a warm smile and sank into an empty chair beside her. They sat in comfortable silence for several minutes, waiting for the tea to cool enough to drink.

Willow dunked one of the chocolate chip biscuits in her drink and munched on it happily. Carson watched her for a moment, mildly fascinated, then looked away.

"Thanks", she said finally. "It was probably a bit stupid for me to let that happen."

He smiled. "That may be the case, but if it weren't for you, Captain Hyatts would be in here instead."

"Yeah, but I would have been able to tell you all about the plant and its effects instead of being reduced to a paralysed, drooling mess", she laughed. "It's just too damn ironic."

Carson watched her sip the tea. "I suppose you're right."

"I heard from one of the nurses that Shepard wants my team to put together a few lessons for the offworld teams on botany", she said. "I can't really imagine too many people being keen on that."

"Well, we can certainly agree on that", he chuckled. "But Colonel Shepard is notorious for getting his way, especially when it's a good idea."

She considered him for a moment, then chugged the rest of her tea, savouring the sweet aftertaste that came at the end.

"Alright", he said finally, getting to his feet. "I better get back to it. I'll come check on you a bit later, ok?"

"Don't be a stranger", she patted his arm gently.

"Aye."


End file.
